Pages from my anthology

Pages from my Anthology

                 Dear (Wo)men

There she is born,
Saved from scans and scorn,
They rejoiced 'Lakshmi Beti Aayi hai'
With pink frock and nails long.


Her frock replaced by salwar kameez,
Pouty lips, appealing gait and chubby cheeks,
She tries to discover yet hide clear,
From the peeping eyes on her adoslescent smear.


Lover she is; bottled with passion within,
Strength and will to lead the crowd,
Head held high and carrying high heels
Home and work she equally deals.

Time now comes to hold the hands of the man she loves,
A bond of love she pours, none in vain,
To build what she calls 'her new home'
With promises to stand, eat and dine,
Together both create 'divine'.


And yes, now her stomach begins to show,
A new life as they call 'grows',
She prepares for another role-
Turning a new leaf,
A mother she is-
  Tender, abnegating and protective.


And in this mix, she forgets who she is,
Call her Durga, Mary or call her 'she'
Her lips only carve an arch to smile,
'She' is a wo(man), a part of you,
Racing beside you till the last mile.

          

In the News....

There is news everywhere. Some are good, some are bad, some are real or fake, some are special while rest ordinary. But there are some which will surely remain as headlines at least for a couple of weeks.
The first in the line will be the US presidential election result. Donald J Trump is the 45th President of the United States of America after defeating Hillary Clinton in the presidential race. Yes a mere business tycoon who had contested for the most coveted position of the world is indeed today more powerful than any of the Marvel superheroes. Call it luck or the extensive persuasive election campaigns, Trump had played his Trump card well to be the resident of the White House for the next four years (one can call him a political alien) whereas ace politicians had dedicated their entire life for the same. His election as the head of the superpower nation has sparked protests in many regions whereas world leaders in their congratulatory note to Mr. Trump have shown due respect and interest to work with him. India especially is looking forward for a fruitful bilateral ties strengthening time since Mr. Trump had asserted in his election speech that he is fond of India. Whatever the future holds is only a mystery now but in the words of many, entrusting the reins of one of the biggest democracies in the hands of someone who had intertwined himself in many controversies in the past is just like gifting a complex video game to a 10 year old. There is no wonder that he will be lured to push the many buttons, all unexplored, on this video game and experiment on all possible outcomes. The only treat would be to see whether Americans and the world will lose or win the game.
The next in the line of news is the ban on the 500 and 1000 rupees currency notes. While the Prime Minister Mr. Narendra Modi was engrossed in his strong verbal address to intimate the burning issue, all Indians were busy either stacking their old notes for exchange or else counting the live guards in the form of coins and 100  rupee notes. Even in an unannounced form, it is an economic crisis which will affect almost every walk of life because in an overly populated country like India demonetization has its own pros and cons. Thus in his message the PM requested the countrymen to support and remain patient in this war against corruption- a war against filthy black money owners. Although the social media is projecting the issue in quite a light-hearted manner, this sudden step is welcomed and questioned at the same time. If the government has pledged to eradicate the menace of fake notes and black money, should it also not take legitimate action to punish those involved in bringing our economy down proving that this outburst is not a political drama like campaign promises where the only sufferers are the general public and those who laden their homes with illegal money have only little to lose. Only then we can say that “Acche din aa gaye” otherwise all these public inconvenience caused is just another proof that our representatives step out in the jungle for a stroll and not actually to hunt.
The third issue which had recently caught the headlines and is a very serious concern is the Smog envelope in the national capital. It is an environmental problem which most people were acquainted to only through their school books. Post Diwali celebrations, Delhi had an alarming increase in the polluted air level. So things once taken for granted are now national and international problems being discussed at conferences like the COP 21 and COP 22. The Delhi government have banned all sort of construction activities for a couple of days but it, like spraying water on roads, shutting down industries for sometime or the odd-even rule, are not enough to curb the drastic nature of the endangering smog. What about the heavy deforestation, over population and rapid industrialization? When will people start to question those if they really believe in sustainable development. Everything now is as unclear as the Delhi sky.
Moving on to the NE region and specifically our state Assam, many issues seem to jolt the inhabitants. The most controversial amongst all is the arrest of the Assam Public Service Commission Chairman Mr. Rakesh Paul. The bold statement and accusation of a young lady dentist was enough for the police to arrest him for committing severe corruption leading to raid in his innumerable assets in and across the state. But more than the vast amount of money and property that he had amassed in the name of offering high profile jobs, what came as a massive shock was that he had conducted the prestigious public service exams right in his place and no one even got the slightest of hints. One can then very well gauge the structure of bureaucracy and the corruption that would evidently be present. Isn’t it purely a case of denying a true suitor an honourable job and placing it in the hands of those who loaded his bank account with cash?  The Chairman’s removal will require the final approval of the President of India. Will he come out scot free like last time and his helping hands too do not get a jail stay? Will his arrest simply adorn News channels when after some days he will be moving below the clear skies without penalty?

Questions and apprehensions on all these remain; time will definitely be the best answer.    

Pages from my Anthology

                    The Proud Flower

O! There she stood, all surrounded by full blooms,
Fresh and juvenile,
Ripe and beautiful,
Envied by all the glooms. 

The birds sang praises,
Bowed her to open her coloured petaly twines,
O’ little flower had only plans - to be famous and kind,
But being robbed off was the sole fear in mind.

Every day the bees would hum,
The cuckoo sang on spring’s arrival,
This little flower however had,
 Only reasons to stay still.

She thought of the passerby who
Would be charmed to see her,
Of the naughty lad who would try
To pull her attire,
Thought of the gumptious bee who
Would steal a bucket of nectar.
Hence better still was to be the bud she is.

Days passed , she felt pale and weak,
No more birds dancing around her,
No more flies to sing,
She was alone, for she served no purpose,
Only a bud she was, awaiting rebirth.

Thus she decided, to go off her fears,
Let the wind through her tiny feathers,
Let the bee hover around her,
For the world to see that what a
Divine beauty she could be.

And when all the happy times flowed,
The heavy storm’s entrance was big and clear,
All she was left with was-a tiny bright petal,
She knew her time had come to face it with grit,
To embrace, like all others,
The fate she was meant to end with.

            

JUST ONE MORE TIME, PLEASE!

Sometimes life thrusts you to an unnoticed, unwanted edge where you have no better option than to retire to a blank page and blue pen in your hand and screech a word or two in some incorrigible handwriting rendering it incomprehensible even in the barest proximity range. And better so, switch off the ‘mini devil’whose attributes are contrary to its size and cut off from the outside world.  This sudden outburst seems to be an identical picture perfect situation in every unmanaged disturbed person in his 20s.
Adulthood –this is the perfect time to do some soul searching in the pool of utter confusion one lives in. (maybe that is how masterpieces of self-discovery were gifted to humanity.) Just a peep outside one’s comfortable slumber shell and things are just like those floating bacteria cells in the biology lab accumulating slowly, growing in mass to fill up every space. And although some scientists treat humans as a tiny speck in the universe, it has been a constant urge on part of living beings for the quest of a meaningful life where success is considered a prized possession.
 However there is difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. And however strong and efficient one might be, failure of some kind does peek in.
 What does each failure teach?
Does it remind that one is not good enough or does it suggest that one is yet to hone the skills to be amongst the top 5%? But whatever it may be failures do have two hard implications-they either break you or make you. They tell you or teach you. They discourage or motivate you. They tell you to give up or try just one more time. How difficult it is to gulp down failures. To start over once again with the same tools, go for the same tasks; build the same castle which you saw yourself get smashed into dusts and still clueless about your stand at the threshold of victory and defeat.
Volumes of books proudly adorn the stories and struggles of those who braved against all odds, laughed at their own mistakes and made their presence felt. But did those glossy pages try to project the emotional turmoil and nothingness faced by each dejected soul. The world cares for the gold medalists, it does not care for the one who came second or third or the one who competed for the same nor does it care to see the sweat and blood behind   that win. This is the competitive dog-eat-dog world we live in.
Nevertheless there are some who try to rise from each fatal blow to stand as a paradigm to that one story of a spider which inspired King Robert Bruce not to give up his kingdom to the enemy. And may be because of this someone rightly said that life is a sine wave- and there will be two peaks –of maximum and that of the minimum.
All it requires is patience to keep calm during adversity and logically transform it into an opportunity and not be exuberantly carried away by a success- for even success like happiness is a journey not a destination.
                                                 

                                Happy trying!

Pages from my Anthology

                    FROM DAMINI, TO THE WORLD     (Dedicated to those girls who have seen the worst side of human nature)


It is my last day to see the morning sun,
For never will light touch my dead soul again,
All I have is nothingness around,
The dark has engulfed me to the death terrain.

I never knew where my fault lied,
To be stripped off on the road side,
To become the butt of lust and impulse,
Why did I ever come into this life?

All my dreams of a happy life took minutes to shatter,
Alike my body which was drilled in no time,
Was it a crime to lead a happy life,
I wonder why I was chosen.
Yes it could be you,
Today or the other day,
Its not new.
Its been there for ages,
One who starts life is not allowed to live,
She has to die—in the Womb or outside.

                       


Now I leave behind those happy moments,
And go far to a place unknown,
So far that am shielded,
Shielded from the savage race- the Humans.

Pages from my Anthology

                            INSPIRED (2nd June 2006)     


                             
Faint music and voice so low,
Still were the steps graceful and glow,
As little drops fill the sea,
Her little steps could enthrall the Thee.
Sadness and happiness for you and for me
But why is that happy you and not me?

Had I been in her place,
I would have said-
Life is not a bed of roses, but still not of thorns too,
Then is that I crave for more and lose all that I have too.
Fame is what I fight to win
But she likes to be her own pleasure queen,
Simple stuffs are her possessions,
Which I keep and throw at will
Call her poor but me too neither rich!
She can learn when none to teach
Then why can’t I when I have others who preached.
Life started from the same soul for both of us,
I will end and she too in the same dust.
Thus,
Everything is the same for her and for me,
The only difference, our minds not alike,
The opposite approach we have for life,
Stir my thoughts from from land to sky…

Pages from my Anthology...

                       Behind the veils           (2-02-2009)
    (In search of the true meaning of life)



Life is but so short a journey,
Amidst trials is hidden a silver lining,
To that, all desire for,
For that, whose quest is never ending?

Life is so precious a lesson to learn
With things around,
With the senses being made slave by oneself,
Life is no tedious a run.

Life is a measure of success and triumphs,
With failures being scar to the pride,
But the one learning to stand from humble
Ground and pitches of frown,
Deserves to be adorned with the Victor’s Crown.                    

Life is the way we deal with it
Colored through painted glass and
Vague behind weary eyes,
Its you to choose, you to decide-
Unending plight or essence of life!

DIVINE SOUL CALL

What I want to share isn’t a piece on theism nor does it mock the atheist community. It is only about the belief we hold in our hearts of a form higher than us and for those who don’t it is about the power they feel within themselves.

I don’t whence the idea of worshipping or idolizing a half-man half- ape grabbed my mind. Maybe it is the one magazine I read which featured a young squash player (I was still younger)who proclaimed to be an ardent ‘Hanumaan bhakt’.
Till then I had no idea of worshipping a particular God and till today I don’t have one. But still I took fancy in the idea of calling myself a bhakt and took to worshipping devotedly. It was then that I got closer to the roots of God.
As I delve deeper, I came to know that Hanumaan was an epitome of courage, devotion and fearlessness. He was someone who desired to devour the sun, the ‘glowing yellow ball’, during his childhood. He was someone who took His lessons diligently and persevered to amass wisdom. He was blessed to be immune to any fatal blow by different Gods who presented Him their ‘shields’ for protection. At a later stage of His life He served as a devotee to Lord Rama and helped Him rescue His wife Sita from the clutches of Lankeswar Ravaan.  All the virtues, indomitable power and sagas of Hanuman have been summed by Tulsidas in just “forty lines” which is known as the Chalisa which extols the magnificence of Hanumaan. 
For a bhakt like me, chanting the Chalisa is naturally a path to reach Him. But what I actually realized along this journey of knowing Hanumaan is that He left a lesson for all of us to be learnt.
What I could gauge with my spiritually starved mind was that no one can be great in a day or two. It demands great perseverance and patience. People are meant to face worldly worries and ailments but they have to be courageous to remain immune. And in order to remain immune they need to learn and practice to be alone for what  they feel to be right. He left us the message that to gain eternal happiness and satisfaction from something devotion is the basic criteria. In His case it was the selfless love and veneration for His Pravu Lord Ram.
In our case it can be our goals and ambitions which are likely to be so potent as to have inscribed deep inside our hearts; goals which adds meaning and purpose to our lives. When we chant the Chalisa a source of energy seems to emanate from within us. We imagine a divine guidance propelling us to our goals; shielding us from all possible resilience of attaining the other end of our dreams. He is reminding us through the Chalisa that everyone has that innate power within themselves, the power to change the things we don’t like , it’s just a self-help call away. Be it the duas, be it the hymns or prayers (for theist) or self-confidence and belief (for atheist), all of these are  simply elixirs to strengthen our hearts and mind.
We see that our inclination to religion, to God, to spirituality, (to Jesus, to Allah, to Nanak) ----only brings us closer to ourselves and transposes us into the framework of someone whom we adjudge to be superior than us. If there is a world beyond ours or if there was long ago, all “They “want is that we live happily like they did; which is the need of the hour with wars going around us.                              

Teachers-The ones of the 21st century

Challenges of teaching and status of teachers in the changing world
                        ‘Guru Brahma Guru Vishnu
                          Guru Devo Maheshwaraha
                      Guru Saakshaat Param Brahma
                        Tasmai Shree Guruve Namaha.’
This Shlok aptly says that a Guru or teacher is the representative of the three powerful Creators of the Universe according to Hinduism-Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. It is a Guru who creates, sustains knowledge and destroys the weeds of ignorance. We salute such a Guru.
 In ancient India parents sent their beloved children to Ashrams to avail the opportunity of leading a life amongst teachers where in, one day, they would come out as learned beings. History has inscribed that the desire for acquiring the skills from a teacher was such that one could pay any price for the same and words of guidance could help to change the direction of a historic war. Today once we have plunged into the 21st century, the meaning of all such values has changed. All relationships and systems be it economic, geopolitical, sociological have undergone a tremendous modification. And although it has braved the ravages of time, the status of teachers too, stand at a threshold of uncertainty.
With education becoming a wider market, the demand for educators have increased manifold. To cater to the growing demand, in place of ten, a thousand more has to be recruited to fill the vacuum. But the question of quality and accomplishment being given a side line stand as a big threat to the education scenario of the present day world.  With unskilled teachers at the position of instruction, it will automatically undermine the picture of a good teacher. The kind of education and preparedness for work on part of a teacher is a crucial point of what kind of education quality can be can be sought because teachers have a very essential role in preparing students to face the future with confidence, patience and imaginative solutions. Not only skills but the power of delivery, positive attitude and body language are the attributes which when not showcased by a teacher will certainly draw criticism.
A part of the factors contributing to defaming the teaching profession is the commercialization of education and privatization of institutes. Teaching today is no longer the Guru-Shishya bond. It is today somewhat a bridge constructed of sleek notes which only a fortunate few can traverse. Educational institutes sprouting in every nook and corner of a region with low salaried teachers make learning a profitable trade for few while for the students it appears to be only a loss. As good education and good educators come with a hefty price tag, a section of the learners remain completely neglected and ignorant.
Advancement has brought prosperity but with it has also introduced a world of cut –throat competition. This highly testing environment has forced parents to be apprehensive about the career prospects of their children leading to a growing conflict between parents and teachers which in some way or the other hamper the full growth of a student. Examples of many guardians resorting to gab fights with teachers on issues relating to question paper, marks and evaluation has become a common scene. This interference restricts the teachers from making honest evaluations in order to avoid future fury or agitation of any kind. Moreover the liberty to choose suitable assessment methods is unavailable and always mandatory to gauge a student within the predefined limits of a rigid academic Performa. Here the relationship of a teacher and the authority at the helm of affairs also need a special mention. Teachers are not provided with such working conditions which will promote effective learning and enable them to concentrate on their professional tasks. And so it is usually noticed that in countries like India, in addition to teaching, educators are engage on a large scale for many other activities which in the long run can mar their productivity and directional growth.
It is a well known fact that attitude is one ingredient which when missing in a venture might prevent success. The same is with the society’s attitude or outlook towards teachers and in some amount the teacher’s outlook towards the profession. It is a very common that from an early stage of life, most of the young minds are encouraged to join the brigade which forms the so called elite class of doctors, engineers, scientists etc and  most parents abstain from inspiring them about being noble educators. The possible reason of this partiality may be the low remuneration compared to other professions believed to be associated with this career profile. What everyone forgets is that to be part of those lucrative professions one has to go through a stage of education and training religiously. And that can be achieved under the guidance of able-learned teachers only. But how many people of the entire population of a country are willing to join the educator class; a profession so pious and noble yet unable to receive as much credit and distinct, is a question that shall always crop up. But for children to rise to a level in order to fit the global conditions, it is high time for the society to realize that they ought to give due respect and importance to the profession of teaching and teachers at large. At the same time , a teacher should be fuelled by the motive of not only giving systematic subject oriented knowledge but should take his profession as a challenge to mould a real prepared individual for tomorrow. Strangely enough, some of the teachers vacillate on this aspect for better income.
Whatever may be the individualistic reasons, in the big picture there is one factor that plays the pivotal role in demining the status of teachers and it is none other than corruption in education.  The selection of teachers or educators in large scale does not adopt the rigorous methodology like that used for some high profile professions. The government fails to recognize that neglecting this fact can only lead to recruiting people with fake educational certificates. And very recently such an incident came to light in Bihar where hundreds of teachers chose to resign instead of being put behind the bars on cases of forgery. This is just one instance whereas similar might still be there in the dark putting a question mark to the whole education system of our country itself. The corruption in education has also gone to the extent of accepting bribes and illegal fees in the name of admission, withholding educational schemes and salaries for monetary gains, trading service and lessons for a huge tutorial benefits and preferential promotions to handful teachers only. It is not only the government that would take the share of this allegations but a teacher too have to share its burden.
Today in this century, when the status of teachers is dwindling at such a rapid rate, the challenges associated with this profession do not alleviate but rises to another level. It has become quite a risky and gruelling job. To tackle a student community who is so sensitive to even lighter issues takes techniques and patience. The sensitive student might be struggling morally and psychologically and to deal with such a student would take calm and a very mature and understanding nature on part of the teacher. Today mistakes do not have punishments because it will be scars for the tender hearts; mistakes have consequences which will enable them to analyze and rectify their faults by themselves. Leave aside corporal punishment, teachers have to be cautious not to hurt the sentiments of the student with brutal words based on performance, creed, caste, sex or background.
 The world has shrunk into a global village with technology being an aid to every individual. The efficiency of technology is such that it places information in front of us in nanoseconds and everything can be accessed in the click of a finger. This has revolutionized the educational trend and thus, learning today is not confined to the four walls of a classroom; learning today has no boundaries. And this has in some amount become a problem for educators. With a student population so diverse and hi-tech in nature and modernization creeping in everywhere, teachers ought to develop an extra edge in order to be accepted and prove their stand. This calls for preparedness in the form of knowledge, skill and management. Hence there will be certain keywords which will be associated with a good teacher of this century. These are- strategic planner, innate presence of mind, resourceful –in terms of  books and the internet, deep seated knowledge both in the subject and on life so that the teacher can be the torch bearer of a vision that guides students to stand as original and unique individuals in the crowd tomorrow.
The challenge ahead is and will be to shun the age old traditional method of teaching and adapt to the changing trends of the education system to be accepted by the overly knowledgeable and inquisitive student community. The challenge will be not to be googled-out, not be short of knowledge, facts and figures. The presentation skills of a teacher has to be such that each class turns out to be new and informative so that students are drawn to the class without any compulsion and no monotony  exists in the four walled  seat of learning. The challenge will be to utilize and teach the students the appropriate manner to avail the World Wide Web for maximum knowledge amassment.  This will not only reduce the technological barrier between the student and the teacher but also spare the educator form being the butt of technology.
 Further, the teachers have a challenge of excelling in spite of hard working conditions, overload, a rigid curriculum and assessment procedures. It will always be a struggle to keep their productivity intact in the light of hectic schedules of today’s small classroom where the main agenda is one-to-one interaction. Teaching must not only be sowing seeds of random nature and unexpected yield. It has to be a systematic procedure to prepare the dignified soldiers that would be a part of life’s battle tomorrow.
Another tough stage of this profession is dealing with slow learners who will test the tricks of this trade.  In such cases, teachers have to adopt and practice strategies to bring slow learners at par with other learners of average attitude and behaviors. A good teacher will never hesitate and fall short of transmitting one’s culture and education for a better future. It will take a great deal of labour to understand the capabilities of the young mind to guide them by not standing as a leader but by trying to bring out the leader in them.
 Having surveyed the status and challenges of teachers and educators, we see that the road ahead is not a smooth sail but not an impossible one either. It will require grit, determination and dedication on the part of the teachers to build harmony in the teacher-student relationship and the teaching profession to unfurl the flag of a strong educated society.
 And in spite of all odds a teacher will somehow manage to leave an impact in one’s life - be it the teacher who held the first pencil for us as toddlers, the teacher who taught us the alphabet, the teacher of Nobel laureate Albert Camus, who inspired him at a tender age or the teacher who gifted India the Missile Man.
A teacher unfolds that unknown world of possibilities which might go unnoticed to the common eyes and true to the words of the 15th century poet Kabir Das who quoted-
                           ‘Guru Govind dou khade,
                              Kaake lagoon paye,
                           Balihari Guru aapki,
                            Govind diyo milaye.’-  stands as a paradigm to the fact that if  Guru i.e. a teacher and God both appeared before us leaving us baffled as to whom do we bow first; the answer would be to our Guru, for he is the one who introduced us to God.

Of Guns & Roses (My medical diary)

My experience of being to the hospital is just visiting friends and acquaintances. So very clearly I am just as ignorant as my family about hospital procedures. Putting an end to this, I got myself admitted to the Nemcare hospitals situated at Bhangagarh to undergo an appendectomy surgery.

The night went under the overdose of medicines and I woke up to the bright sun smiling at me through the glass panes of my air conditioned cabin. As I was instructed to eat something light last till 9am, I awaited the arrival of my family who would bring me eatables. Till 12 noon, there was no sign of either doctors or nurses and I was just getting anxious at the arrival of each visitor who was gracious enough to check my status and support me as I prepared to lie in the operation bed.
Suddenly a hoard of nurses appeared before me armed with syringes. One had the uniform on while the other appeared to be a trainee, who passed a mocking smile at me, taking me back to the Biology practical classes of my early days where poor chloroformed frogs were dissected brutally. And yes there was no escape for me either; prick….that was heart-aching. Three futile attempts to ascertain my tiny vein and she finally resorted to a pair of experienced hands which in no time dented the route to my life-line. To add to it, whether one is really sick or goes to the hospital fit and fine where the doctors do not recognize the patient, as in my case, you apparently appear miserable and hapless once you change to the OT attire.
Next then, a ward boy roped in with a wheel chair which was to take me to the floor below.  That moment I just close my eyes and felt like I was approaching my death –bed. Bidding a confused goodbye to my father who looked equally worried (for the first time I could see a cloud of uneasiness mar his otherwise composed face), I leaped off the moving chair into the operation theatre. They made me wait outside the minor OT while they shifted a freshly operated patient to the ICU. It was my turn next and I got up the operation bed facing a giant light numbered 1 to 5. The nurses and helpers kept moving swiftly all around me abusing about some fellow colleagues (I was least interested) and simultaneously lining all the surgical instruments on a long table. One of them tied my hands to the bed; other covered my body with the traditional green cloth which I saw in movies while the other placed ECG electrodes to monitor my timid heart. They say that ‘a little knowledge is a dangerous thing’ and the information I had gathered from the internet about the step wise method of the operation proved sinister and erupted questions in my mind if I would prove to  be a medical failure of my Super specialist’s career profile.
While all these wild thoughts gushed my mind, a soft hand caressed my hair and inquired Monika ‘Did you sleep last night?’ Oh! What do I tell you, it felt to me as soothing as a traveler would feel to see an oasis in a barren desert. She was my anesthesiologist with whom I had a very brief interaction the previous night. She started humming an old Bollywood number but I couldnot recall the actor in that song while she inserted the hallucinating drug into my blood stream. She quickly asked me, ”Monika, do you have any commitments to keep?” I was dumbstruck. Such a question at this hour. I was about to answer when my surgeon just arrived and for the first time I saw him smile and say” READY”? What could I probably say yes…or…. The last thing that I heard was,” Good Night Monika,  it s time for some sweet dreams”.
          Someone wanted to wake me up from my deep slumber..”Monika, utha Monika, utha (get up dear). I was so unwilling, I had just slept and it was time for me to get up again? With a bleak vision I could see the team, I could hear my surgeon-“Congratulations, the operation is successful.” At last, I thought , the appendice  has been assassinated. But wait, what was happening to me … I had great difficulty in breathing, my throat was extremely dry and even though a medium was present the mechanical waves fail to reach any ears. I animatedly showed signs of a fish out of water pleading for air to breathe, to live..They hurriedly brought the oxygen mask to the rescue helping me regain full consciousness and ready to be transferred to my cabin.
Once out, I first met my father who asked” Bhale asou?”(are you fine?). I wanted to jump, hug him and say, Yes Dad , Am absolutely fine; minus the resolutions I had taken inside the OT that I would never touch junk food and abstain from all kinds of unhealthy food. Now that I am out, it can be relaxed, I thought in splits of seconds. On the way to my cabin, I saw all familiar faces again; my best friend, my sister, my mother, my family members and they too were surprised to see a seemingly happy patient. The reason was that I realized the power that love, affection and prayers held in them. They were certainly some form of elixir that could, if not move mountains, at least, boost one morally to face the most crucial of situations.

The night that followed was a grueling one as it was post surgery period. Drop by drop, the salt solution entered my body whereas I showed no movements to protect my fresh cuts; my father dead awake and the nurses compromising their sleep to do their duty.
                                                         
Well time was afternoon the next day and after a quick checkup from my surgeon, I was discharged from the hospital. Once out, I faced the glaring ball, the heavy Guwahati traffic and of course the mundane life.. I retired to my cell phone, plugged to the RED FM. Well all had gone well, a Simple operation but a bag full of experience…..

Happy and healthy life!!     

                                       Ode to Dr. Kalam

Dancing with the waves of the mighty ocean,
Making paper boats sail for a living,
A brave heart looked up to the sky and wailed
“That is where I belong.”

Ardent spirit to explore the Cosmo,
He silently embarked on a journey to quench all curiosity,
Reached not the eighth; stood ninth
But not to be dissuaded again.

Time flowed together with his dream wings,
The nation was ready to be led by his flight,
To a crater so deep of scientific innovations,
Merging masses to the developed nuclear nations.

History christened him the ‘Missile Man’,
Ignited was every soul,
The vision 2020 has sprouted in the rough Indian soil,
She will pave her way to a Super power soon, O’ Bharat Ratna !

You never rested your weary soul,
Said never be hyper about the first success,
For censure will follow if you fail the second,
The credit amassed by fortune.
Your message:
Rest not a day in my memory
But work an hour more,
Young India is the maker of Tomorrow,
Power is all in those little fists and invincible minds.

You lived by your wishes: O’ People’s President
This is the final juncture of your sojourn,
Amidst your loved ones
The moment of your short, memorable Goodbye has arrived,
Tears drop from heaven, Adieu Dr. Kalam.
  

                                  Two and A half pages of my life

Nothing can beat that brewing cup of tea on an early morning drizzle day,  more so because I had been addicted to this cup since my childhood, only difference , once I used to lick to the bottom of that mom –made cup and now it is just another trial and error method hit to that perfect cup. People here don’t  slow down with the rain,like I used to; these kids are splashing water every where with the muddy football. Our roads will  never be better , one night rain and its leaves the town brown. I am hardly to discover the facets of this place but I just heard that there is  a scarcity for everything here. Nevertheless , it hardly matters to me anymore because I  have seen the scarcest of situation and my life was full of choices and turns. 

Completing my B tech was a relief for me cause transforming from a bright to an average student takes courage. Degree was conferred but what next. A job for a mediocre like me was not impossible but it meant I slog in the office and be paid less. I was prepared to do that too but my mind was unsatiated. There was no independence. So I tried to score bigger and bigger and adorn my name with embellishments but with little planning and focus. But suddenly that spark came alive and I could proclaim myself to be an IIM-an . Then what.. I thought there was no looking back and I was destined to rule and fulfill my goals – the biggest to be satisfied and happy. But was it the feeling I could  achieve or even be near ...

My stay in IIM-B played the spoilt sport in my relationship of 7 years, an investment that had my feelings, my tears, my emotions and the biggest –my life. My greed for being the best grew more and more with the approaching exams and I seemed to care the least—I had become a machine , a programmed robot; time tracked and rigid. There was no value and place for love and emotions in my life. I probably won the business degree but lost the greatest gamble of my life. Still not regretting, I left for my elite job abroad. I felt I belonged there and it had been summoning me the day I had dreamt of being to the London Bridge. I had achieved all, I had , I thought so. I had used my education to reach to the top but where..An answer echoed..

The scene was crystal clear,  I was just a paid labourer again trying to project independence whereas I was caged the most and couldn't avail leave when my mother was hospitalized. Is this the life I had dreamt of. Maybe I had visualised only the rosy side forgetting that the  thorns were a part too. It seemed I had wasted my life chasing a dream that had only me in it. I was the sufferer , the contributor and the gainer.

Atleast today I donot have that regret. Am free and am happy, I have lived and I have seen—that happiness grows only when shared. That the quest for happiness is not a destination but a journey..

 Today   "UMMEED’"is  a year old and imparting education had been its motto since its birth.

It’s A , B, C ,D  that I had started and it’s A,B,C,D that I end with.

                                                 Why Suicide?

Ever since my knowledge span extended, I learnt that suicide is a punishable crime.  But the question is why? One of the most apt answer is because one is not entitled to give up life on his own as it is, the greatest gift of God. But I feel why not. Everyone is free to be what one wants, choose what he likes, so why not choose death. Why inflict a penalty for one’s choice – the biggest one of all - to live or to die.

But alas  a contrary scene prevails.  People become moral police and hurl abuses to those who have attempted suicide (both to successful and failed ones) calling them cowards. For failed ones the plight is continued in the form of traumatizing cops with incessant queries probing into the drastic step. And neighbours here play a key role; giving lucid comments on the life of the convict. The society decries the person’s malicious attempt and shuns their public cooperation thereafter. Thus for the poor one life becomes tougher than it already was.  It is like one stands infront of the sea shore of vast gloominess. What others fail to see or maybe overlook is the reason behind such contemplated action of ending one’s life.

For many of us, while we live we fail to seek that meaning for a purposeful life. Our goals seem to engulf our minds but we cannot picture the right route to achieve those.  At those moments of vacillation, support , care and guidance of our loved ones are those that we crave for the most. And when we find our life devoid of all such feelings , the value of our life degrades immediately and constanly opens door to downfall. And that can’t be a small reason to end everything.

 The society we live in is the biggest critic of our lives. We begin to judge ourselves on the basis of the comments we get. Few strong ones stand  ahead of those, others succumb to the fatal mockery. Life issues such as unemployment, divorce, marital violence and turbulence, property disputes, failure in exams, character, love affairs, black money, choices and decisions…nothing seem to escape the eagle-eye vigil of the society.  All these pave their way through the scanned eyes of the society who rate us on a scale of 10 where somehow failing to reach an average, we are termed  with  titles like – duffer, crooked, insane, loafer, characterless and more so. Finally it marks  the end of the  hapless soul who gulps down everything so deep that he loses strength and courage to stand for his own life. And thus putting a quick and abrupt end…

Well, when we (the society we all are a part of) donot leave any space for others to breathe in, aren’t we wrong in expecting them to survive. Hence it is now customary to change our outlook on everything-on life and  on suicide.

                                                                                                                         Happy living…

(PS:This article is an outcome of several newspaper articles read daily)