Two and A half pages of my life

Nothing can beat that brewing cup of tea on an early morning drizzle day,  more so because I had been addicted to this cup since my childhood, only difference , once I used to lick to the bottom of that mom –made cup and now it is just another trial and error method hit to that perfect cup. People here don’t  slow down with the rain,like I used to; these kids are splashing water every where with the muddy football. Our roads will  never be better , one night rain and its leaves the town brown. I am hardly to discover the facets of this place but I just heard that there is  a scarcity for everything here. Nevertheless , it hardly matters to me anymore because I  have seen the scarcest of situation and my life was full of choices and turns. 

Completing my B tech was a relief for me cause transforming from a bright to an average student takes courage. Degree was conferred but what next. A job for a mediocre like me was not impossible but it meant I slog in the office and be paid less. I was prepared to do that too but my mind was unsatiated. There was no independence. So I tried to score bigger and bigger and adorn my name with embellishments but with little planning and focus. But suddenly that spark came alive and I could proclaim myself to be an IIM-an . Then what.. I thought there was no looking back and I was destined to rule and fulfill my goals – the biggest to be satisfied and happy. But was it the feeling I could  achieve or even be near ...

My stay in IIM-B played the spoilt sport in my relationship of 7 years, an investment that had my feelings, my tears, my emotions and the biggest –my life. My greed for being the best grew more and more with the approaching exams and I seemed to care the least—I had become a machine , a programmed robot; time tracked and rigid. There was no value and place for love and emotions in my life. I probably won the business degree but lost the greatest gamble of my life. Still not regretting, I left for my elite job abroad. I felt I belonged there and it had been summoning me the day I had dreamt of being to the London Bridge. I had achieved all, I had , I thought so. I had used my education to reach to the top but where..An answer echoed..

The scene was crystal clear,  I was just a paid labourer again trying to project independence whereas I was caged the most and couldn't avail leave when my mother was hospitalized. Is this the life I had dreamt of. Maybe I had visualised only the rosy side forgetting that the  thorns were a part too. It seemed I had wasted my life chasing a dream that had only me in it. I was the sufferer , the contributor and the gainer.

Atleast today I donot have that regret. Am free and am happy, I have lived and I have seen—that happiness grows only when shared. That the quest for happiness is not a destination but a journey..

 Today   "UMMEED’"is  a year old and imparting education had been its motto since its birth.

It’s A , B, C ,D  that I had started and it’s A,B,C,D that I end with.

                                                 Why Suicide?

Ever since my knowledge span extended, I learnt that suicide is a punishable crime.  But the question is why? One of the most apt answer is because one is not entitled to give up life on his own as it is, the greatest gift of God. But I feel why not. Everyone is free to be what one wants, choose what he likes, so why not choose death. Why inflict a penalty for one’s choice – the biggest one of all - to live or to die.

But alas  a contrary scene prevails.  People become moral police and hurl abuses to those who have attempted suicide (both to successful and failed ones) calling them cowards. For failed ones the plight is continued in the form of traumatizing cops with incessant queries probing into the drastic step. And neighbours here play a key role; giving lucid comments on the life of the convict. The society decries the person’s malicious attempt and shuns their public cooperation thereafter. Thus for the poor one life becomes tougher than it already was.  It is like one stands infront of the sea shore of vast gloominess. What others fail to see or maybe overlook is the reason behind such contemplated action of ending one’s life.

For many of us, while we live we fail to seek that meaning for a purposeful life. Our goals seem to engulf our minds but we cannot picture the right route to achieve those.  At those moments of vacillation, support , care and guidance of our loved ones are those that we crave for the most. And when we find our life devoid of all such feelings , the value of our life degrades immediately and constanly opens door to downfall. And that can’t be a small reason to end everything.

 The society we live in is the biggest critic of our lives. We begin to judge ourselves on the basis of the comments we get. Few strong ones stand  ahead of those, others succumb to the fatal mockery. Life issues such as unemployment, divorce, marital violence and turbulence, property disputes, failure in exams, character, love affairs, black money, choices and decisions…nothing seem to escape the eagle-eye vigil of the society.  All these pave their way through the scanned eyes of the society who rate us on a scale of 10 where somehow failing to reach an average, we are termed  with  titles like – duffer, crooked, insane, loafer, characterless and more so. Finally it marks  the end of the  hapless soul who gulps down everything so deep that he loses strength and courage to stand for his own life. And thus putting a quick and abrupt end…

Well, when we (the society we all are a part of) donot leave any space for others to breathe in, aren’t we wrong in expecting them to survive. Hence it is now customary to change our outlook on everything-on life and  on suicide.

                                                                                                                         Happy living…

(PS:This article is an outcome of several newspaper articles read daily)

                                                                CRIES
  


*From the wetlands, the mammoth struggled to lift itself and cried for help.
(Animals in the Kaziranga National Park are awaiting their watery graves in the floods now)


*Krishna (name changed ) cried before the final adieu.
(A talented girl wailed before she committed suicide to equalize her failure  in her studies)

*Alok (name changed) and 20 like him cried in despair after knowing that they are now "living-deads"
(Around 30 people were injected with HIV infected blood in a Civil Hospital in Assam.)


*A child cried to death after his mother failed to provide him a single meal for the day.
( News Headline--- Price of essential commodities become skyhigh.


Parallely- Dominos' special Wednesday offer attract heavy rush of pizza lovers.)


*"Going to school was fun as I got to learn and eat as well. But I dont have my friends to share it anymore."- Rajat.
(23 children died after consuming poisonous food served during MID DAY MEAL at school)


So many reasons to shed Tears...and you say Life is pretty Fair...

30th October 2008 and What followed...

                       

 Many would  term it as one of the ‘Darkest Days’ in the history of Assam, as violence had shown its truest colours on that fateful day, the 30^th of October,2008. But for some it would be the day that changed their lives forever.   A day which left men crippled, which swept away shelter from many, which orphaned hundreds and effortlessly extolled the flag of terrorism in the Assamese mainland.

But still nothing has been done to curb the roots of terrorism and violence. In a country where even justice comes at a snail’s pace what more can the departed souls ask for themselves-- few lamps and candles to commemorate their priced lives...

                                         

Yes Men kills Men, even though we were brought up by the saying that “GOD IS THE ALMIGHTY”. God had His own plans to check the reins of population growth by His natural growth and death cycle, nonetheless man diverted from his goal of productivity and bowed to the Evil. Terrorism is one such evil that is itself a hypocrisy, which under the veil of false patriotism has taken the whole world in its grip, creating a slur to humanity every time by offering sacrifices of blood and emotion.

 Its not only Assam alone, its the whole world rocking as a cradle to the tunes of terror, whose growth, whose origin, whose end is yet to be known.

I still believe that none of the souls rests in peace, for no one can, neither the dead or the living- for loss of life in any form is irreversible and inexplicable.

       (p.s. On 30^th October,2008 a series of bomb blasts rocked several districts of Assam.)

                                                               The way things look like

All the same sort of shits goes on and on...An IITIAN wanting to be a writer but  tortured to be an engineer. All engineering graduates following some old fashioned trend of writing romantic college flicks, trying to prove magical in the field of literature after kicking far that technician that hardly seems to exist in the present day graduates. All the old wine in old bottles but new marketing strategies and luring graphics. Writing has become alike baby sitting...easy plus hard, enjoyable plus brain hammering and when mad people( pure lovers of literature and art)  like me give into writing the standard drops beyond the metre scale...

 Its all monotonous. All spices of everyday life juggled from one mixer to the other to make the taste tongue intriguing. Wondering where sex is left behind in the dramatic masala making scene? Not forgotten ofcourse. Thats the soul. New writers treat it to be the best armour to shield the literary piece. As a matter of fact  however taboo the word might be a single encounter with this word is enough to startle red eyed , sleepy readers. For even though denied and decried , sexual intimacy of the protagonist with someone in the plot adds to the weight age of the write up. Additional hype is created by the beers, hookahs, grass, Vipashasa, hippies and what not. All this are enough to set you to write your first  fictious novel.  Am into one, wish me luck.

 Well I forgot to introduce myself to you. Am a 23 year old English graduate working as an  intern for  a leading newspaper in India and my first book on Indian state of human trafficking is yet to find its publisher. Indeed things are not as they seem like...

EAGER TO FIND 2(continued)

the old calender on my study table got replaced by a new glittering one.even that poorly shining source of light stalked its way to junk box(couldn't propel its life span.)it was destined to work uptil then....ITS NEW YEAR AGAIN. n m left wondering how we rejoice at being old again...somewhere getting close to our death beds.! but thats what we are here for...puppets,sometimes turned topsy-turvy by brutual situations no less than those dramatically created for entertainment...

amidst all these ,some events touch the bottom of our souls...for me,---it was d news of  the sudden demise of one of my batchmate;a tragic end to an all rounder who had just started his  journey.i was aghast at his death.tears rolled down for this person with whom i had never interacted during my college days.all that kept running to and fro in my mind was DO GOOD PEOPLE REALLY  DIE YOUNG?

one of the hardest things in our life is to JUDGE.whether what we chose,what we got,what we did was correct or wrong.or in bigger words judge how god the almighty has planned our lives...(loss of love,enhanced mental strenght,untiring support of parents,criticism,new love,friend turning foe,ups and downs of career,friend who understands you the most but wants something else,accusations,the jealousy drive,a relaxed state of mind...the end)

WHEN A BLOG BECOMES A MAGAZINE

                                 I felt this urgent need to include something quite opposite to my usual posts.more so because i fear that my readers would start  calling my blog an overdose of emotional content.blogs are just like shopping malls,you need to offer newer things every other day than your counterparts do or else be prepared to pull down the shutters.obviously its hilarious to draw a comparison between a shopping mall without customers and a blog without readers but its at this hilarious note that i suddenly jumped on from poetic verses and prose to COUNSELLING.why not keep the integrity of my name?(yes,browsing through the pages of a Baby names book,i discovered that Monika means a ‘counseller’.thanks to the publisher for saving me from a really ‘meaningless’ name.)

So here’s me in a all new Avataar,sharing titbits about...well about US ,the girls;)

Here are 7 ways to reach a girl’s heart  faster(not at super sonic rate but can prove to be catalytic)

    The HALO works

    The Cindrella shoe

    Watch out your WATCH

    Carry the Astray

    Be a coconut

    Talkative –ARE u?

    Be her MAN

THE HALO WORKS- you maybe a cricketer,a politician’s son,a die hard metal fan,an atheist ,a geek or a heartthrob...but what counts in the eyes of girls is the decency you have with you –‘decent and well mannered’-prerequisites to be in the limelight.

THE CINDRELLA SHOE-you don’t need to carry the glass shoe and wonder who would befit it.rather check out your own footwear.a passage  to a girl’s heart is through your evenly polished shoes,you might not want to fall short on it.

WATCH OUT YOUR WATCH-to have a track of time implies you have a track of everything else-health,wealth,duties,errands ,relationships,to brief up-of the track of life. All you need is a time tracker- a Wrist watch.

CARRY THE ASTRAY-if you smoke,don’t leave the trail behind on the floor,use a fancy astray(create 1).even though girls are getting used to boys fluffing smoke into the air,think of the damage you are doing to her sponge like lungs.

BE A COCONUT-dats a mantra- a wall from outside but a cotton candy from inside.

TALKATIVE-ARE U?-a quite controversial matter.its natural to like a person who voices out his feelings but than too much of chatter and clatter on your part can become annoying.so its better to be a man of few words but the best and apt words.

BE HER “MAN”-Toby Maguire can be Spideman,Pattinson can be Bella’s Edward( the vampire man;))- you just need to be her MAN.its your task to melt your girl and no one on earth can sit for that exam on your behalf.cause there are some vows which only YOU can make and keep.only you can assure that you are your lady’s fellow traveller when she would embark on her life’s journey.it is you alone who can make her feel loved and secured.

                                                                                                      Hapy courtship...

P.S. none of the contents written above are meant to hurt the priced sentiments of my readers.its a pure work of fiction alone.